You’re worried about your high schooler, so much so that you may have strongly suggested that therapy could help. Or perhaps your kid has asked for support, and you are in the middle of a search for a psychotherapist. This article can help you decide if my approach to therapy might work for your teen.

Many folks come to therapy to learn coping strategies, tips, and tricks, concrete techniques that will help them feel grounded and at peace.

A high school student in our community died in 2022, likely by suicide, though no one officially identified the cause of death or released the student’s name to the larger school community. The principal and district superintendent sent emails shortly after the incident. They offered additional mental health support and lamented the loss, imploring us to take care of each other. This sudden, traumatic death was otherwise shrouded in silence.

Perfectionism is on the rise in college students in the U.S. and Canada. It often comes with a strong sense of responsibility for things that go wrong, such as difficult relationships or work situations, along with a struggle to take pride in the good things.

We learn to ignore emotional signals in childhood, often for reasons of self-preservation. The end result may have the flavor of emotional regulation. For example, most of us are able to contain our feelings of anger or sadness in social or professional situations and in less heated moments with family and friends. But those who are closest to us have a way of accessing our more intense feelings and familiar hurts.

As parents, we are affected by how we were parented and by the events of our childhood. Did we get what we needed? How were we disciplined? What were the behavioral expectations? Were they realistic? What was the our family’s experience with trauma across the generations?